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Here we have an abecedary of offensive bumper-sticker slogans that have been kicking around in my Palm for four or five years. I’d been leafing through Joe Haldeman’s The Forever War and 1969 (since he’d published a new book), and was struck by the eerie, funny, alliterative and definitely not PC phrases that he semi-reported from his experiences in Vietnam.

I imagine that the “Verb a label for some authority” phraseology has been used by both serious sloganeers and disillusioned grunts for thousands of years. I hope you get the tongue-in-cheekness of this. If not . . . please refer to the title bar, thanks.

[I finally gave up and just cheated on X.]

Axe an Anglo for Allah
Bash a Brit for Buddha
Cremate a Commie for Christ
Defenestrate a Dork for Diana
Eviscerate an Etruscan for Enkidu
Flog a Freak for Frida
Garrote a Gook for God
Hang a Hun for Homer
Incinerate an Infidel for Imhotep
Jab a Jeek for Jesus
Kill a Kraut for Krishna
Lampoon a Loony for Lamia
Mangle a Monk for Moses
Nuke a Nerd for Nefertiti
Ostrascize an Oddball for Odin
Pillory a Pagan for Pele
Quash a Queer for Quetzequatal
Roast a Rastafarian for Ramadan
Skrag a Sinner for Satan
Thlay a Thinner for Thoth
Ununify a Unitarian for Urdu
Vivisect a Virgin for Vishnu
Whack a Whitey for Walla-Walla
eXecute a Xenophobe for Xenu
Yank a Yip for Yaweh
Zap a Zip for Zeus

Author: landon

My mom thinks I'm in high tech.

One thought on “(blank) a (blank) for (blank)”

  1. Heh. ‘T’ gave you some trouble, as well!

    o Thermite a Tenant for Televangelists
    o Terrorize a Televangelist for Technocrats
    o Toast a Taxpayer for Totalitarianism
    o Transmogrify a Toad for Tribalism


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