More growling

Wreckursion – What happens when you blow the base case of a recursive function and call yourself forever.

Abstruction – An API that serves only as a layer of obfuscation and obstruction.  (COM and SetupAPI, I’m looking at you).

Fuctuation – A power blip that takes out half of your machines, causing the other half to swallow all the net bandwidth while asking “What?  What happened? WHAT? What happened…?“. The extra load takes out everything else in an agonizing digital crunch. Darkness. The power comes back, things happily boot, and then all the machines start doing successive dumps on their disks until they run out of space and start to serially crash. Just as you get things sorted out, janitors start their biannual cleaning of the machine room floor with buckets of suds and wet mops, and everything goes dark again. Fans run to a stop as uninterruptable power supplies beep in vain, trying to push current through soaked power outlets. You remember you got into this business because hacking in BASIC was pretty cool. What happened? One thing led to another, I guess. See also: Fupdate.

Simpathy – Indistinguishable from real sympathy, guaranteed or your money back.

Splinterview – Cow-orker A thinks the candidate walks on water, while cow-orker B doesn’t think the candidate is capable of breathing. The recruiter misunderstands your feedback and starts selling the candidate’s ability to breathe underwater. A well-timed earthquake saves the day.

Coopitition – The art of shipping a product while stabbing each other in the back, while HR and the review committees sit on the sidelines and smile.

(oh look, I found some angst)

Author: landon

My mom thinks I'm in high tech.

10 thoughts on “More growling”

  1. Product Mangler – The one in charge of making sure that what you ship is almost, but not quite, completely unlike the original description that everyone signed off on.

  2. Nice! Abstruction is my favourite word for today. A perfect replacement for the too-lengthy “oh god please stop adding extra layers”.

    Scumm master – the person responsible for writing down stories that everyone is supposed to follow. (Or something like that, when I first heard it I’m not entirely sure the extra ‘m’ was intended!)

  3. And a variation on fupdate:

    Pubgrade – A mandatory IT upgrade that breaks so many things, the only option is to adjourn en masse to the nearest pub until IT support have fixed it. Bonus points if the upgrade was to network policy/infrastructure and the pub has free wifi, although actually taking your laptop is not required.

  4. I present the Fucktion (this is from here)

    bool Manager::loadResources()
    if (m_resourcesLoaded)
    return true;

    m_resourcesLoaded = true;

    return true;

  5. I wish to call a correction on one of your definitions…

    Sympathy – a word in the dictionary between shit and syphilis….

    That said, I could or my personal peeve of the week….

    Hidle – a co-worker whom is bone idle and hiding it….

    which themselves are a subset of the…

    Burdles – defined as co-workers whom are a burden on development and throw many hurdles into the pathway of progress, primarily by introducing multiple, slightly ill defined, ideas they’ve had, which your personal experience and educated eye immediately identify as “Abstructions”.

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