The very thought of food…

Ah, how sweet it was when Man discovered — to his great relief — that the Elder Gods were basically scary-looking creampuffs, all roar and no firepower. And so good to eat! Here are a few recipes from the troops on the front lines (returning home soon, we are assured) –

Noodles Nyrlathotep

Old Nyar might look scary, and he’s got some surprises even when he’s down, but this dish is easy to make, and scrumptious.

1 flipper, cleaned and julianned
1 Node of Gorham, halved, with ALL nodules removed
1lb egg noodles
4q chicken stock
seasonings (Tarragon, Basil, etc.)

Boil the flipper for about three hours in 2q stock, adding more stock as necessary. Make sure you remove all the nodules from the Gorham or you’re gonna poison somebody. Add the Gorham about halfway through cooking (you musn’t actually eat it, it’s sort of like a bay leaf). Add noodles eight minutes before serving. Season to taste.

Okay, skip the stupid Gorham. But really, it’s worth it.


If the thought of eating ground-up tentacles and those, um … whatever they are, makes you a bit queasy, don’t worry, these patties are as yummy as they sound gross. “Better than buffalo,” said a few of the Rangers coming back from patrol. Going back for seconds or even thirds won’t be a problem.

2 lb tentacle meat, finely ground
1/2 lb “those other wavy things”
1/1 t freshly ground pepper
1 t salt
1/2 c bread crumbs
1 egg

Mash it all up, make patties around 1/3 pound. The usual caveats apply, and we recommend an internal temp of 210 degrees (yes, really, let them cool down a bit before serving).

Baked Old One

An oldie, but a goodie! Carve out sections about the size of an Idaho potato, bake for 30 minutes in a fire (or 6-7 minutes in a microwave oven — our troops also put them next to engine blocks for an hour or two). Butter and pepper to taste. Yum!

Author: landon

My mom thinks I'm in high tech.