them’s awful funny-lookin’ mushrooms

In keeping with the recent Supreme Court decision to disallow a¬†student sign with “Bong Hits for Jesus” on it, I offer the following alternate phrases.¬†

Drop Acid with Allah
Pop Bennies for Buddha
Snort Crack and see Christ!
Do Downers with Dionysus
Eightballs for Enkidu
Freebees for Frida
Ganja Good Enough for God
Heroin for Hercules!
Idiot Pills for Imhotep
J for Jesus (cleverly ambiguous)
Ketamine for Krishna
LSD for Loki
Methadone for Moses
Needles for Nefertiti
O.D. with Odin
PCP for Poseiden
Quaff Quaaludes with Quetzequatal
Rushes for Ramadan
Speedballs for Shiva
Tie off with Thoth
Uppers for Urdu
Do Vitamin Q with Vishnu
Whippets for Walla-Walla
XTC for Xenu
Yellowjackets for Yaweh
Get Zonked with Zeus

Author: landon

My mom thinks I'm in high tech.

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